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How to Tell If External Pressure Is Affecting Your Love Life

It goes without saying how pressure can not only effect you as a person but effect the loved one’s around you.


It can specifically affect your closest confidant.


You’ve met the love of your life, and for a while, things were going great. But lately, something has changed. Those little disagreements are turning into arguments, and you’re starting to question the relationship. But before you start singing the breakup blues, maybe it’s time to ask yourself whether the problems that you’re having as a couple might be coming from somewhere outside of either of you. What if it’s external pressure that’s causing the problems and really you are soulmates?


How can you tell?


1. Ask yourself just how irritable you are. If every single action or word from your loved one is ticking you off, then they might not be the problem. It’s much more likely to be as a result of some external stress. Stress is always the result of some pressure somewhere. It might be time to evaluate just where all that aggression is originating.


2. How are your communication skills?When you’re dealing with the kind of pressure that makes you feel overwhelmed, your ability to convey your thoughts and feelings becomes more difficult. Why is that? Because pressure starts hurting your ability to think rationally and to listen, both of which are necessary if you want to have any meaningful conversation.


3. Are you looking at the relationship as though it’s a failure? Negativity is natural when you’re under so much pressure you can’t think straight. Even the best things in your life are going to look awful when you’re tired and anxious. Take a step back for a while.


4. It’s just a little flirtation, isn’t it? Studies have shown that when dealing with the kind of constant pressure that makes you feel anxious, it’s normal to indulge in a little stress-relieving fantasizing, especially about someone else. So, when you feel like straying, it might be saying less about your partner than about what’s going on in your life right now.


5. Are you indulging in information overload?Grabbing for your phone, needing to obsessively check social media and email constantly are all signs of feeling too much pressure. At the same time, the constant stream of information will cause even more pressure. Meaning now you’re in a pressure loop.


Take a media fast!


By understanding how pressure impacts how you view your relationships and even your interactions with other people, you’re better able to evaluate whether you’re having a problem with your partner, or if you’re just not dealing with the world around you healthily. This critical look is important because it tells you whether you can still salvage the relationship, or if something deeper is going on.

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mvanpelt@ascentleadershipresources.com

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